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LC #28: Cleanliness is next to godliness.
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| Moral Orel | ||
| Season 3, Episode TBA | ||
| #TBA | ||
| Air date | None | |
| Episode Guide | ||
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Narcissism is one of the scrapped episodes from Season 3. It would take place after the events of Sundays, even though the episode was set to be released on December 12, 2008.
Plot[]
The episode begins with Orel and his family limping into church. Reverend Putty is giving a sermon about the Golden Rule, emphasizing its importance while veering into a personal confession about not living up to his own advice. The congregation gasps when he indirectly references a past affair with Florence, and Putty quickly tries to cover his slip.
After the service, Putty awkwardly greets the churchgoers, who avoid eye contact. Dottie approaches and subtly invites Putty over to her place, suggesting her loneliness. Despite his reluctance, Putty ends up at Dottie’s apartment, where she seduces him. The next morning, feeling guilty and watched by the rising sun, he abruptly leaves, blaming God for his discomfort.
Later, at the Repressional, Orel shares his worries about his family and his dying grandfather with Putty. Overwhelmed, Putty dismisses him. Nurse Bendy then arrives, venting about her frustrations with men and seeking Putty’s help. This leads to another meaningless sexual encounter for Putty, who finds himself disinterested and imagining Bendy as Florence. He leaves, feeling even more detached and sickened by his actions.
A montage shows Putty engaging in joyless sex with multiple women, each time feeling emptier. The next morning, Putty tries to enter the church but is mobbed by adoring women. He notices Florence’s absence, feeling her loss deeply. During his sermon, he becomes increasingly grumpy and distracted, eventually forcing Orel to sit in Florence’s usual spot, unable to continue the sermon properly.
That evening, Putty waits for Florence at an all-you-can-eatery but she doesn’t show up. Later, he sees her with Mr. Shrugger at Forghetty's pub. She looks healthier and thinner, causing Putty to reflect on how much he misses her.
Disguised, Putty talks to his daughter Stephanie and Orel at Buried Pleasures about his feelings for Florence. They encourage him to pursue her, believing he knows what he wants deep down. Putty reluctantly agrees.
Putty goes to Florence’s apartment and hesitantly knocks on the door. They have a tense conversation about their past, and Florence reveals her depression. Putty admits his feelings for her and his desire to change. He spends the night outside her door, and the next morning, she finds him there. They have an honest conversation, and Putty sincerely confesses his love for her.
Florence, moved by his honesty and vulnerability, forgives him. They embrace, acknowledging the complexities of their relationship. Orel remains optimistic despite the challenges around him, embodying the episode’s theme of forgiveness and the struggle to practice what one preaches.
Characters[]
Minor Characters
- Orel Puppington
- Nurse Bendy
- Dottie Trophywife
- Mr. Shrugger
As the episode was never animated it can be assumed that other characters would appear in the congregation, however none are specified in the script
Script[]
EST. CHURCH - MORNING
Clay, Bloberta, Shapey, Block and a limping Orel, bringing up the rear, head to church.
INT. CHURCH - A LITTLE LATER
Putty is doing his sermon.
“Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You.” What’s so special about this phrase? Yes, it’s true it has the word “unto” in it. Twice, even. Weird word, I know I never use it unless I’m quoting bible babble. But that’s not what’s * really special. That little sentence means: “Since you’re already going to be a selfish jerk and just think about yourself all the time, keep thinking about yourself when you’re doing a crappy thing to someone else.” Hey genius, would you really like it if someone pulled you around by the nose hairs, or painted your cat green, or wouldn’t stop dancing in your bath tub? I don’t think so. So don’t dance in their bath tub! Just think for once...
Putty’s eyes wander to the left of the congregation. He sees that Florence is not there in her usual place. Slowly, he imagines her image to dissolve into the seat. She looks down sadly.
...and don’t just say it because it’s your job. Really listen to yourself. Practice what you preach. I mean, you’re a Reverend. Act like one. Don’t just sleep with someone because you’re lonely and then act like nothing happened...
[The congregation gasps. Putty realizes he was talking out loud.]
...Ub...erg...or other such silly, hypothetical examples... (reminding them) ...like the nose-hair-pulling, the cat- painting, the bath-tub-dancing, and the...one-night-standing. Amen.
EXT. CHURCH - A LITTLE LATER
Putty is greeting people as they leave. It’s awkward. People walk by trying not to make contact. Putty over compensates with cheerfulness.
Thanks for coming! Hope I didn’t ramble! Come again!
He folds.
Embarrassing...
Dottie walks out. Putty stops her.
Dottie!
DOTTIE
Reverend.
PUTTY
Um...so...how’s...?
He doesn’t know how to bring her up.
You know...
DOTTIE
(knows what she’s doing) My relationship with Jesus?
PUTTY
(disappointed) Okay, I give. How’s that?
DOTTIE
I think we’re all right. I think we’re good.
PUTTY
Terrific.(trying again) Are you still living with-?
DOTTIE
My husband? No. Not for six months.
PUTTY
No, I was actually thinking of-
DOTTIE
Oh, Ken Awkwarding! It never got serious.
PUTTY
Knew nothing about that. What I meant was- -that the last time I saw you, you were roommates with...
DOTTIE
(giving it to him; sadly) Ah, yes. Florence.
PUTTY
Yeah
DOTTIE
We’re not talking. She moved out.
(disappointed) Oh...
Putty looks down and starts walking back into the church. Dottie looks insulted.
Is that all you wanted?
PUTTY
Huh? Yeah. Just making conversation.
DOTTIE
(throwing hints) Well, my place is very conducive to conversation. There’s no one else there. I’m very alone now. It’s very private.
PUTTY
(doesn’t care) Must be relaxing.
DOTTIE
Oh, I love it, of course! But it also gets-
PUTTY
Lonely?
DOTTIE
I prefer the word: “boring.”
PUTTY
Yeah, boring’s nice, when you can get it. Well, I should get going-
DOTTIE
Wait! I was wondering if you could come by and...bless...my bed.
PUTTY
Um. Well...we usually leave that bed- blessing stuff up to the Catholics.
Now, it can’t be that hard! Come on!
She yanks him away.
Hey!
INT. DOTTIE’S APARTMENT - EVENING
It’s a SMASH CUT to Dottie throwing Putty down on her bed.
Bless it!
PUTTY
Ow!
She falls on him, pushing her chest into his face.
Bless me!
PUTTY
(muffled) I think you’re sufficiently blessed...
DOTTIE
No. Bless me! Bless me long and hard.
PUTTY
(not interested) Yeah, I don’t really have my blessing...wand with me.
Oh, shut up!
She throws the covers over both of them and attacks him passionately.
EXT. ALONEFORD - DAY
Sun goes down. Sun starts coming up again.
SAME - MORNING
Putty lays awake, eyes wide open, looking uncomfortable. Dottie is asleep, curled up all over him. Clinging. The sunlight slowly reaches Putty. First his shoulder. He looks at the sunlight without moving his head. The sunlight creeps up to his face, then eyes. Suddenly, not able to stand it anymore, Putty exclaims.
All right, already! I’m going!
Dottie wakes up, confused.
Who are you talking to?
Putty points up to God/the sun, squinting.
Him! The scrutinizer, that’s who! Mr. Judgy-drawers!
He gets up and leaves, leaving Dottie very disoriented.
Wheh?!
INT. REPRESSIONAL - DAY
Orel is in the repressional blabbing away. Putty looks overwhelmed by the information.
(never waning his optimism) * ...and my leg’s doing really great! I’m just down to limping now! And my Grampa’s dying in my bed, which is sad, but otherwise, I don’t mind because, like you said, “Do Unto Others!” and I guess I’d want my Grampa to let me die in his bed, although it would be fine if he didn’t. But what’s really sad is that he and my dad had a falling-out lots of years ago and I’m just worried that he’s going to die without them both making up and that’ll make him and especially my dad even sadder. And my dad can’t afford to be sadder really-
Putty stops him, not being able to stand it anymore.
Orel. You have no intention of repressing any of this, do you?
OREL
Gosh, no, Reverend. I think repressing would be the worst thing I cou-
Out!
Orel hurriedly leaves. Bendy enters. Putty is distracted, still irritated with Orel.
Nurse Bendy.
BENDY
Reverend Putty, I need someone to let my chest off to.
PUTTY
I’m not going to touch that with a ten foot pole.
PUTTY
So what’s this about? Principal Fakey?
BENDY
Wow! You’re really thinkful!
PUTTY
“Thinkful” is my middle name. So what’s the problem?
BENDY
Well, he’s just the tip of the icicle. Men everywhere just jump all over me. I hate them all!
PUTTY
Look lady, this is a Repressional, not a phone booth. Now, if you want, you can go to my office and dial the rape hotline.
BENDY
But you don’t understand. I don’t want to hate all men. Especially now that I have a son living with me who’s twice as young as I am.
PUTTY
Well that makes him--I have no idea what you’re talking about.
BENDY
Oh. You think I’m stupid, too.
PUTTY
Nurse Bendy, you are not stupid. You are smart-defying, but not stupid.
BENDY
(flattered) Really?
Yes, really. Now, I gotta go.
She looks at him, turned on.
Wait!
INT. BENDY’S BEDROOM - EVENING
Putty and Bendy are having sex. Bendy is very passionate for once. Putty looks bored. He imagines Bendy as Florence. He is now interested and passionate.
INT. ALONEFORD HALLWAY - EVENING
Putty is leaving her apartment.
Toodle loodle bye! PUTTY
See ya.
She shuts the door. He starts leaving.
(to himself) Wait a second.
Then he stops and points back to the door.
Did I just...? With Nurse Bendy...? *
He turns and looks.
Yeah. That’s where she lives. Huh. What do you know about that? I don’t even care.
(MORE)
PUTTY (CONT’D)(concerned) Must be sick.
MONTAGE
Putty fucking three different women in their respective bedrooms. He looks bored throughout. NOTE: WE CAN DO THIS FROM AN AERIAL VIEW AND DO ALL THREE SCENES ON THE SAME SET BUT WITH DIFFERENT BEDDING.
INT. FIRST WOMAN’S BEDROOM - EVENING
First woman is a blond.
(to himself) Yep.
INT. SECOND WOMAN’S BEDROOM - EVENING
Second woman is a brunette.
(to himself) I’m.
INT. THIRD WOMAN’S BEDROOM - EVENING
Third woman is a redhead.
(to himself) Sick.
He looks at his watch.
EXT. CHURCH - MORNING
Putty is trying to get into church but is mobbed by beautiful women clamoring for his attention. He joylessly signs his autograph on photos of himself as ladies claw at him. Finally, he breaks away from the group.
Gotta go! Sermon’s calling.
The women swoon. Two ladies speak under their breaths to each other.
Amazing. He doesn’t seem to care about any of us. LADY TWO
Speak for yourself. I know there’s something behind that bored expression. (to herself) I hope.
INT. CHURCH - MORNING
Putty is at the pulpit. The congregation is completely made up of starry-eyed women and Orel. Putty doesn’t even notice. All he notices if that one empty space that Florence is not in.
(longing) Jeez...where is she?
He pulls himself together and starts his sermon.
(grumpy) Well, here we are again. Sunday. Just how many Sundays are there in a week, anyway? It feels like three or four. I mean, is it actually ever not Sunday? Here are the days of the week, in order: Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday. That’s right. Eight of them, all in a row.
He gets distracts and points to Florence’s empty space.
He gets distracts and points to Florence’s empty space.
Can someone fill that seat in, please?! Orel, get over there and sit down!
Orel looks confused.
Now! Snap-snap! Come on! I don’t have all day!
He quickly limps over and sits in her place.
All right. That’s better. Uh... (crumbling; can’t go on) Amen.
INT. ALL-YOU-CAN-EATERY - EVENING
Putty has a big tray of food, just like Florence used to eat. He looks around, doesn’t see her. He sits down at a table. He doesn’t eat. He just waits, hoping to see her. He sees a few fat people, but no Florence. Finally, he gets up and leaves, not touching his food.
INT. FORGHETTY’S PUB - LATER
Putty sits at a table by himself. Mr. Shrugger enters with Florence. She has lost weight and looks fit. Putty’s back is to them. Florence doesn’t notice Putty or vice versa. Shrugger points to a table behind Putty. (NOTE: MAYBE THEY’RE OUT OF FOCUS OR BEHIND PUTTY SO THAT WE DON’T SEE * THEM EITHER.)
This table okay, Florence?
Putty perks up, but doesn’t look.
Yes. Is it all right with you?
Shrugger shrugs a vague: “yes.” They hesitate, then sit. Putty sits there stiffly while they speak.
Should I get you a drink?
FLORENCE
Yes, that’s very nice of you.
He shrugs and goes to the bar. Putty ever-so-slowly turns around. Florence’s eyes look away. She still doesn’t know it’s him. He is astounded and a bit disappointed at the sight of her weight loss.
Florence?
She looks over and sees Putty. She’s surprised and uncomfortable.
Oh! Hello.
PUTTY
Um...you’re...
FLORENCE
Yes...normal.
Oh, Florence, you’ll never be normal. (quickly adding) And I mean that as a compliment.
Shrugger comes back. Florence awkwardly introduces them.
Uh...Reverend Putty, do you know Mr. Shrugger? REVEREND PUTTY
Yeah...yeah. I’ve seen ya in the congregation.
Shrugger shrugs.
Hi!
An awkward beat.
Well, I should get going.
Putty leaves as Shrugger sits down. Florence looks distracted but politely fights not to look over her shoulder at the Reverend exiting.
INT. BURIED PLEASURES - EVENING
Putty enters wearing his usual “disguise.” Stephanie is behind the counter, looking through a box.
I know it’s you, Dad...
PUTTY
(vexed) It’s only because you’ve seen this disguise before.
STEPHANIE
And it’s a good one. So what’s up?
Oh...nothing...
She pulls a deflated, hair in curlers, sex doll out of the box.
Need an inflatable spouse doll? PUTTY
Please...
She also pulls out a deflated legal document and a deflated priest.
Comes with a blow-up marriage license signed by Reverend Stretch-Breath.
PUTTY
Disgusting. Look...I came to talk to you about a real woman.
STEPHANIE
(happily) For you?!
Shhh. This is private. I don’t want anyone else to know-
Orel enters from the back with a mop.
Reverend Putty!
PUTTY
Gads! I’m outa here!
STEPHANIE
No, Dad, please stay. It’s only Orel.
OREL
Yeah! I won’t hurt you!
PUTTY
Not on purpose, anyway. (concedes) I...met A woman I want to be serious with.
OREL
Hooray!
PUTTY
Orel, this is not a good thing.
STEPHANIE
What’s the matter, Dad? Did ya screw something up?
I...
Doesn’t know how to say it with Orel there.
...didn’t follow up on our initial...physical encounter.
OREL
Oh no! You mean you one-night-standed her?!
PUTTY
(winces) Orel, where do you learn these things?
OREL
Your sermon, three weeks ago-
PUTTY
Rhetorical question!
STEPHANIE
Well, Dad, if she’s willing to forgive you, she’s worth your affection.
PUTTY
I know, but she’s changed. She’s happier.
STEPHANIE
How do you know?
Because she’s thinner, that’s how! It’s really depressing, too, because I really miss all of her...and all of her’s just not there anymore.
She pulls out Reverend Stretch-Breath again.
She pulls out Reverend Stretch-Breath again.
Well, I think that Reverend Stretch- Breath would say that all of her is still there...it’s just less expanded.
PUTTY
Look, whether Reverend Stretch-Breath is right or not...put him away, please.
OREL
Reverend, I hate to bring your “Do Unto Others” sermon again, but I think if you really feel down deep into you, you’ll know what to do and how to treat her...and, gosh, what you really want.
PUTTY
What I really want? Come on, Orel. Who actually knows what they really want?
You do, Dad. Go and see her. The right words will come out.
Putty looks at them both, incredulously. *
I don’t know where you two get so much faith that I know what the hell I’m doing.
He stomps out. Orel and Stephanie look at each other and smile.
EXT. ALONEFORD - EVENING
Putty sees her name on the bell and hesitantly walks inside. He doesn’t ring for her.
INT. ALONEFORD HALLWAY - MOMENTS LATER
He stands outside her apartment. He about to knock. She opens the door.
I thought I heard something.
PUTTY
Interesting. Maybe I blinked too loud.
FLORENCE
(unfriendly) What do you want?
PUTTY
I...want to take you to dinner.
FLORENCE
I don’t have much of an appetite.
PUTTY
Really? When did this thing start?
FLORENCE
Around...Eastertime.
PUTTY
Oh, yeah... The last time I saw you.
FLORENCE
(beat) Usually I binge when I’m depressed. This time, things are different.
PUTTY
(happily) You’re depressed?! (sobers) I mean, yeah...things are different with me, too.
FLORENCE
(doubtful) Oh? How so?
PUTTY
Florence, I haven’t been interested in any woman besides you since we’ve been together.
Really?
He looks a her, sincerely. They stare.
Well, me neither. I mean: men for me. I’m not interested in any men. I mean: or women, either, of course.
PUTTY
Of course. (beat) So...you went through the same thing I did.
FLORENCE
(still hesitant) Could be...
PUTTY
All the meaningless sex. Over and over and over again.
(coldly) No.
She starts to leave.
Wait! Meaningless sex! I said, “meaningless!”
FLORENCE
There is no meaningless sex.
PUTTY
There is when I have it.
FLORENCE
(adamant) Well, not for me...when you have it.
PUTTY
For the first time ever, I care about someone else other than me. And by coincidence, it’s you! Congratulations. Isn’t that great?
FLORENCE
No. You haven’t changed. You still only care about yourself. You’re a narcissist.
PUTTY
Narcissist? Don’t give me that pagan * crap. You’ll burn in hell.
FLORENCE
Then I’ll burn in hell with you.
PUTTY
Whoah.
FLORENCE
You treated me awful. And now you think you’re thinking about me instead of you. * But I’m just a part of your narcissism now. Your obsession. * (painfully looks down) Because I’m thin.
PUTTY
(disdainful) Thin. Has there ever been an uglier word? Thin lipped, thin ice, thin skinned, * thinly veiled. Florence, I just want to * see you looking like you used to. Heck, I just want to see you. To be with you.
(bitterly) Fat chance.
She shuts the door on him.
INT. FLORENCE’S APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS
She locks the door and sadly leans against it. She walks deeper into her apartment.
DISSOLVE TO:
SAME - MORNING
Florence is ready for the day. She unlocks the door. Putty falls into her apartment, asleep against the door.
(disoriented) All right! Hold your horses! I’m awake already! FLORENCE
Reverend!
Putty sits up.
Florence! You came back for me! FLORENCE
No, actually, I’m leaving my apartment.
He stands all the way up.
Oh. I guess I am a tad narcissistic, huh?
FLORENCE
A tad.
PUTTY
Please, Florence. And I never say “please” unless I’m praying. But please forgive me. I’m sorry. I want to be with you.
FLORENCE
(skeptical) Why?
PUTTY
Because I don’t know, that’s why. It’s unexplainable. Weird, even. There’s no word for it.
FLORENCE
You’re a man of God. Think of the word.
Just because I’m a Reverend doesn’t mean I’m a mind reader. How would I know what I’m thinking?
She starts closing the door on him. He desperately keeps trying to convince her.
She starts closing the door on him. He desperately keeps trying to convince her.
I run a repressional, you know! I can’t just bring things up! You think the right word’s going to magically appear just because I love you?
Florence smiles. Putty looks shocked.
Oh. That word. FLORENCE
I love you, too.
She ushers him inside and shuts the door.
FADE OUT
Notes[]
- While no episode number is specified, it does take place after the introduction of Orel's Grandfather, meaning it chronologically would take place after Sacrifice
- Mr. Shrugger may be the same character from Presents For God who Putty points out saying "this guy gets it". This however is purely speculation.